


Atlas Hands

by thelightintheattic



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Polyamory, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:06:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6661564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelightintheattic/pseuds/thelightintheattic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin invites Dan on a road trip to Florida, Dan didn't think it would turn out like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Atlas Hands

“Hand me the taco,” Arin says, putting down the controller and wiggling his outstretched fingers towards the brown paper bag that is currently resting against Dan’s leg.

“The one in the Dorito shell?” Dan asks, stretching. His joints stiff from refusing to move from his comfortable position for the entirety of their game grumps session.

“Yeah, that one, hand it to me,” Arin responds, straining his arm to get closer to the bag, but not actually moving otherwise.

 “Already ate it,” Dan informs him, turning to grin at him.

 Arin drops his arm, and takes on an offended look. “What the fuck, Dan, you can’t say you don’t want one and then fucking eat mine. What the fuck, man!”

 Dan laughs, “I’m fucking with you. I didn’t eat it.” He pulls the paper wrapped taco out of the paper bag and chucks it at Arin, who manages to catch it before it hits the floor.

 “And to think I was gonna invite you on a super awesome road trip to go to a super awesome convention in Florida,” Arin grumbles, peeling the wrapping back from the taco.

 Dan pauses, “Are you serious?” He asks, they joke too much that sometimes Dan isn’t sure what is and isn’t serious.

 “The trip or not inviting you?” Arin replies, mouth full of Dorito taco, so it comes out somewhat mumbled and hard to understand, but Dan gets the gist.

“Both,” Dan shrugs, reaching into the bag and pulling out the first thing his hand touches. It’s a wrapper from a burrito he already ate, he throws it back and searches again for the quesarito that he knows he hasn’t had yet. 

”Serious about the trip,” Arin clarifies. “Joking about not inviting you. I want you to go with me, it’d be fun and it’s a pretty awesome convention.”

“What, like, just me and you?” Dan asks, It comes out weird, almost nervously. Dan and Arin have never been alone, not fully, there is always at least someone else around. Sure, they might be in the office, but there is someone outside. What he’s trying to say, is that there is always a buffer, always a filter, someone who keeps him in check, something that keeps him from acting on impulsive thought that might ruin their relationship for good. Impulsive thoughts like leaning over and brushing their lips together in what one might consider a kiss.

“Yeah, dude, you and me!” Arin grins, having finally swallowed his mouthful of taco.

Dan’s hand tightens around his quesarito and it squishes, getting cheesy insides all over the wrapper surrounding it. “What about Suzy?”

“What about her?”

“I don’t know, did she want to go?”

“Dude, If you don’t wanna go just say so, don’t just try to trick your way out of it.”

“I’m not trying to trick my way out of anything. I just wanted to know if she wanted to go, I mean she is your wife.”

“I am very aware we’re married, Dan.  And I already talked to her, she has shit to do.”

Arin looks upset, and Dan feels bad for causing it. He hadn’t meant to seem like he didn’t want to spend time with Arin, but he couldn’t help but feel like it would be a bad idea if he went. They’d be alone, just them, no one to stop Dan from probably ruining the best thing that had ever happened to him in a long time.

"It’s a really cool convention too,” Arin grumbles, picking at the remnants of the Doritos shell. He sounds so let down and dejected. 

Dan sighs. “Dude, I’ll go,” He agrees, even though his gut is advising him that this is a bad idea and he should be adult supervised around Arin. Or maybe that’s just the two burritos he shoved into his stomach in quick succession when they first got back from their Taco Bell run and Arin had announced they were doing another episode so ‘hurry up already, Dan, _God_.” Either way, his gut is definitely protesting something.

“If you don’t want to go then you don’t have to,” Arin replies, balling up the taco wrapper with a rustle.

Dan rolls his eyes, “I want to go, man.” He drops the crushed quesarito back into the bag. 

“Okay, cool,” Arin grins, his mood changing quickly. “Cause we’re leaving tomorrow, so if you didn’t agree I’d be totally fucked.”

“What-Arin, what the fuck,” Dan laughs, “You just decide to ask me the day before leaving? What if I had shit going on?”

“I knew you didn’t, dude, like you kinda work for me and you finished your album,” Arin shrugs, “You’re like totally free for the whole trip.”

Dan pauses remembering their job. “Yeah, but what are we doing for the channel? We’re gonna be gone for like over a week.”

“We have enough backlogged to upload while we’re gone and there is steam train too, it’s not like game grumps is the only thing being put up,” Arin points out. “Don’t worry about it so much.”

Arin throws the crumbled up taco wrapper towards the trash can that sits across the room, cheering when he manages to make the shot. Dan pulls the trash left over from the burrito out of the bag, tossing it at the trash as well. He misses.

“Woah, dude, that was such a good shot, so close,” Arin remarks, there is laughter in his voice and Dan can _feel_ the sarcasm.

“I fucking hate you so much,” Dan says, but he doesn’t mean it, goddamn it, he so doesn’t mean it.

Arin just laughs and grabs the controller again, “Alright, back to work,” he says as the music of title screen for Ocarina of Time starts up.

And just like that, Arin and Dan are going on a road trip to Florida, and Dan is about seventy three percent sure that the knot in his stomach isn’t revenge of the burritos.

 

After an hour Dan needs to take a water break, his throat dry from talking so much, and so he dips out of the room while Arin loads the next-and hopefully-final game of the day into the console. He makes his way to the kitchen. He knows the way so well he could probably make it with his eyes closed. He’s sure he has with how many nights hes spent there, barely making it through episode after episode without passing out.

When he reaches the kitchen it’s occupied. Suzy is at the counter, stirring her tea. Dan freezes, feeling like hes trying to get away with something. But he isn’t and he has nothing to feel guilty about, hes just getting some water.

So he opens the cabinet and grabs a glass, Suzy looks up at him, his movement attracting her attention and she smiles so sweetly that for some reason, Dan feels like the worst human on the planet.

“Hey, did Arin ask you about that trip?” Suzy asks, as Dan places the glass under the faucet and twist the handle.

“Oh yeah,” Dan replies, wondering if he should tell her he agreed to go. If he was suppose to say no for some reason. “I said I’d go.”

“Cool, I would’ve gone but I got held up,” Suzy says, she doesn’t seem upset, she seems normal, cheerful even. “You gotta get me a souvenir though.”

Dan laughs, though the nerves in his stomach tie themselves into a knot. “Totally, its only fair.”

“I want you guys to have a good time, okay?” Suzy’s voice takes on a more serious tone and she moves towards the sink right besides Dan, placing the utensil down on top of a dirty dish. She turns the water off. Dan hadn’t noticed the water was overflowing from the cup, too concerned about what Suzy would say.

“I don’t want you to worry,” She says, and Dan doesn’t understand what she means. Worry about what? Did she know that Dan had feelings for her husband? Did she trust him not to make any moves? Trust him not to ruin all their relationships? The knot in his stomach tightened. “We all love you, remember that.”

She touches his shoulder gently, then takes her tea and leaves the kitchen. Dan is unsure how long he stand there, cup filled to the brim, thinking about what she said. It didn’t sound like a warning, and Dan wasn’t stupid enough to take it as some kind of blessing. Why would Suzy tell him it was okay for him to go after her husband? No matter which angle Dan turned it or where he tried to look at it, it didn’t make sense. It just stayed there in his mind, like some kind of puzzle he wasn’t allowed to touch. Kind of like Arin.

“Dan, it’s been like five years, how much water did you need?” Arin shouts from the grump room, breaking Dan away from his jumbled thoughts.

“Hold on, you impatient bastard,” He yells back, placing the cup down next to the sink and wiping his wet hand on his jeans, where it leaves a damp streak. He makes the short trip back to Arin.

The unattended cup sits on the counter.

 

_

 

Dan is sitting on the floor of his room, he’s mostly packed, having thrown about several random shirts and about two pairs of jeans that he wasn’t sure were clean into the suitcase. But then his phone had chimed and he’d been distracted for the better part of an hour. Which is how Barry found him when he’d come home from editing.

Dan hears the light knock, it’s polite way of letting his presence be known, seeing as the door is wide open and Dan is just on his phone.

“You taking off?” Barry asks, he glances pointedly at the messily packed suitcase.

Dan looks up, clicking off his phone. “Oh yeah, Arin invited me road tripping to a convention in Florida and we’re leaving tomorrow.”

Barry raises an eyebrow, “All the way in Florida? Damn, you sure that’s a good idea?”

Dan frowns, “Yeah, man, why wouldn’t it be?” He asks, Barry knows how many videos they have backlogged since he’s in the process of editing several a day, so Dan can’t think up a reason Barry might think it would be a bad idea. After all it’s not like he hasn’t road tripped before for a while, with going on tour and all that.

Barry shrugs, but he’s not looking at Dan, instead he’s looking around the room, like the answer is hidden somewhere among the fast food take out bags and empty energy drink cans.

“I don’t know,” Barry says finally, it seems the answer is nowhere to be found. “Just wondering if you think it’s a good idea to take off with Arin for over a week.”

“It’ll be cool,” Dan replies, but it doesn’t come out as confident as he would like, instead it comes out flat. Almost like he’s trying to convince himself. Which is totally not the case, or at least he thinks it’s not.

“Alright, if you say so,” Barry says, he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Just, you know, you and Arin, when you-” He cuts himself off suddenly.

“When I what, dude?” Dan prompts, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“Nevermind,” Barry shrugs, “Forget it. Just have fun on your trip, alright?”

“Wait, Barry, what were you gonna say?” Dan asks, but Barry has already walked off, retiring to his room. The way the door shuts sounds final. Conversation over. Barry isn’t going to tell him shit.

Dan has half a mind to get up and follow Barry into his room and ask him what the fuck he's talking about. He’s almost decided between throwing a pair of socks into his suitcase or at Barry’s door when his phone goes off. Singing some tune that Dan had personally set. The caller ID flashes Brian’s name across the screen in bold, black letters.

Dan answers immediately. “Hey, dude, what’s up?”

“I heard you're going to Florida. With Arin,” is the quick response.

“The rumor mill at game grumps runs fast, doesn’t it,” Dan mumbles.

“Suzy told me,” Brian says. “You're leaving tomorrow. You really want to go?”

“Totally, dude. I don't know why everyone is asking me that,” Dan replies. “It's not like Arin is packing my bag for me and throwing me in the trunk.”

“I know that, I'm just asking if this is what you think is best right now,” Brian’s voice sounds static-y through the phone.

“What is that suppose to mean?” Dan asks, a little offended by the question, he feels a blush work its way up to his cheeks, but he'd be damned if he admitted it. 

“You know what it means,” is the reply. “Everyone knows what it means.”

“Apparently not. But if everyone wants to be vague then whatever,” Dan knows he sounds somewhat petulant, but hell if he isn't feeling like he's out of the damn loop. First Suzy with her ‘everyone loves you’ and then Barry chimes in with this whole ‘gonna-say-something-but-leaving-Dan-in-the-dark-instead’ and now Brian is sounding like a worried older brother and all of them keep pointing out that it's just Dan and Arin like that means something. But Dan doesn't get what makes it different. He and Arin hang out in the grump room for hours alone with the door closed, and he doesn't get a call from Brian asking ‘if it's for the best.’

Brian picks up on his tone, or at least Dan thinks he does, going from the silence from the other end. He pulls the phone away from his ear for a moment, checking if the call is still connected. The seconds count up, showing Dan how long he’s been speaking to Brian. He puts the device back up to his ear just as Brian starts talking again.

“You have my number. If anything happens you can call me, okay?” Brian’s voice is strangely concerned, and it's kinda freaking Dan out. “Anytime, _okay_?”

“What would happen?” Dan asks, his stomach is twisting again and this time he's sure it isn't from the burritos since it's been hours and they've certainly been digested by now.

“I don't know,” Brian says, but it sounds the same way Barry did right before he cut himself off. Like he does know but thinks it's best left unsaid. “Just keep in touch and take care of yourself. I’ll talk to you later.”

Dan wants to demand to know what the hell he’s talking about. What they're all talking about. Because he's totally lost. Like he’s watching Arin try to climb aboard the ghost ship and it keeps disappearing. Only this time three of their colleagues have the walk through and are refusing to let them even glance at the cover. And to be honest, it’s driving Dan totally insane.

“Alright, bye,” is what Dan says instead, and then Brian hangs up.

Dan flops onto his back, dropping his phone down next to him, still within reach. He grabs a pair of socks and throws it at Barry’s door, he watches as it arcs up and lands inches from the target.

“What the fuck.”

 

-

 

Dan is by no means an insomniac, he can usually fall asleep fairly easily, having been worn out from staying up so late playing video games and getting a handful of hours of sleep in consequence. But laying there in the darkness, the street lamp peeking through his blinds, and covering a quarter of his room in a sickly orange, Dan thinks that there might be a possibility that the part of his brain that deals with sleeping normally is a bit screwed up. The last time he checked his phone, it let him know that it was three minutes from being four A.M and Arin told him they were taking off the next day-or well, today now-at seven, and Dan can physically feel the minutes of sleep slipping away from him. Well, not _physically,_  Dan is sure that's some kind of delusion that comes with being awake for so long.

Another part that comes with being awake so long is over thinking, and Dan can’t stop it. He just keeps imagining the way Suzy had looked when she told him to have fun, the gentle touch on his shoulder, and the way that Barry had stopped mid sentence like he had almost said something he’d been sworn to secrecy about. And lastly the way had Brian had sounded on the phone, asking if this was what was best, saying he could call if anything happened and then refusing to tell Dan what would happen. And suddenly Dan can't take it, he sits up and before he knows it, the phone was tugged out of the charger and it was ringing against his ear.

“‘Llo?” Comes Arin’s groggy voice, and of course that’s who Dan called,even when he was on autopilot it was always Arin that he found his way to.

“I don’t think I can go,” Dan blurts, he didn’t know what he was going to say before it came out, didn’t even know he changed his mind until he told Arin.

“What? Dude, why?” Arin sounds more awake, but his tone is still somewhat sleepy, and Dan winces, feeling guilty. He shouldn’t have agreed in the first place, that way he wouldn’t have to call Arin at four A.M telling him he was cancelling, that way maybe he would’ve had more time to find someone else to go with, like Barry, or Brian, or Ross. Okay, maybe not Ross, but his point still stands. Someone besides Dan.

“I just don’t think it’d be a good idea, ya know?” Dan tries to explain, but he hasn’t really thought up a good excuse and he can’t exactly say ‘oh, well I’m totally freaked out cause I’ve been talked to all day like some kind of hero on some random quest and all the guides keep giving me vague answers that are suppose to mean something but in the end sound like words’ and wow, maybe Dan should get some sleep because he lost his train of thought half way through that spiel. 

“-a good idea? It’s the best idea, two dudes road tripping together, what could be a better idea?” Arin demands, and Dan is doing his best to recall the beginning of that sentence, but he had spaced out and he might as well have dropped the phone on the bed and ignored it for all he can remember.

“We have work?” It’s a weak attempt and sounds like a question and now Dan feels like a bigger dick because now it sounds like he doesn’t want to be around Arin which isn’t the case at all. “I mean, are you sure we can just fuck off for weeks and everything will be fine?”

Arin sighs, and Dan can imagine him running his hand through his hair as he thinks, if he strains his ears he can almost hear the strands falling through Arin’s fingers as his hair goes back to the almost perfect state it’s always in. “Don’t make me go alone, Dan, you’re my best friend.”

And that’s the problem isn’t it? Dan is Arin’s best _friend_ , and that’s it, his super best friend on a really good day and that’s why Dan doesn’t want to go, because he’s expected to have fun as Arin’s friend, to hang out with him as his friend, to continue on as Arin’s super best friend ever and Dan can’t. And maybe that’s what Brian meant, maybe he knew, maybe they all knew about Dan’s feelings and are doing their best to steer him away from the inevitable shit show this is going to end as. But fuck if Dan has ever been good at making decisions, especially when it comes to Arin.

“Please, Dan?” Arin says, and his voice is softer, pleading and just like that, Dan crumbles.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll go, sorry for waking you up,”  Dan agrees, nodding even though Arin can’t see him. He briefly wonders if he’s imagining him nodding, like how Dan imagines him running his hand through sleep mussed hair, he shoves the thought away. He probably doesn’t.

“It’s cool, man, I’ll see you at seven, get some sleep,” The voice on the phone replies.

“You too,” Dan mumbles, and the line cuts off. Arin had hung up. Dan lethargically plugs his phone back into the charger and lies back down.

He stares at the ceiling as the hours pass. He doesn’t fall asleep.

 


End file.
